


Wishing I Was Sober

by summerdowns



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, References to Addiction, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, this sucks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-23
Updated: 2020-09-23
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:26:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26613670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/summerdowns/pseuds/summerdowns
Summary: Pepper breaks up with Tony, and Tony just breaks.
Relationships: Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 8





	Wishing I Was Sober

**Author's Note:**

> Finally, I've finished something I've started forever ago. I'm not proud of it, but I really just needed to finish something and send it out into the world. This has been in my drafts for over a year and the original plan was to add more to it but honestly, all the additions I've tried to make have fought me tooth and nail. This will either be a oneshot or maybe I'll cave and make this a chaptered thing. In the event that happens, they'll probably be very short, we shall see.

"You've got some nerve Tony Stark."

"Pep? What's going on?"

It hurts to talk and the minute Tony opens his eyes he quickly closes them, presses his hands to his eyes, and groans.

"Fuck that's a lot of light."

He goes to roll over and realizes he's not in his bed or anywhere remotely comfortable. 

He's sleeping on the ground. 

It's linoleum, cold. Tony feels around, too stubborn to open his eyes ( because who the fuck turned on every single light on the planet?) and eventually grasps a chair leg. He pulls himself up and automatically the world starts spinning. He struggles into a seat and leans an arm onto the counter, resting his head in a hand.

Pepper is pacing back and forth across the room, she's looking everywhere in the room but at him. 

"Do you even remember what happened last night?"

Tony does not remember what happened last night. He's hungover as shit. He honestly isn't sure what's happened in the last three days. It hurts too much to talk, but even if Tony could speak, he isn't sure what he'd say. 

"We can't keep doing this." He's not sure if he's supposed to hear it but he does.

He opens his eyes and sees Pepper facing the wall. Her back is tense, head down and Tony suspects she's crying. He wants to comfort her, tell her he's sorry, sorry that he keeps doing this to her-keeps fucking this up-but he knows that won't cut it this time. Pepper turns to face him, eyes shining with tears, and Tony feels like his heart's being ripped out (again) because he knows he knows what it means and it still hurts.

" Tony, I love you, so much. But it's not enough for me to love you if you don't love yourself enough to stop doing this to yourself. You keep sabotaging your happiness and expect me to just- stick around and watch you hurt yourself like this."

"Pep-"

She holds out a hand.

"No, don't you dare apologize because we both know you don't mean it. You had eight glasses of whiskey Tony. Eight. You passed out in the kitchen and stayed there. You're not sorry enough to just stop, or get help. I'm not going to stand around and watch you be in pain anymore. I'm sick of seeing you waste away." Pepper takes a deep, shaky breath. Even with her mascara running and her face streaked with tears she still looks beautiful.

Tony hangs his head and knows how he must look. Even now, every fiber of his being is focused on keeping him upright, eyes open. He wants to lay on the floor, close his eyes, and wake up from this nightmare. Instead, he sighs, dropped his arms on the counter, and lays his head on top.

Pepper leaves, footsteps fast and quiet until they eventually disappear. Tony wants to cry, he wants to scream, he wants to take every single shot glass in the cabinet and throw them against the wall.

"J lights 40%."

The lights dim, and Tony lets out a breath he didn't even know he was holding. He suddenly feels exhausted, he's feeling the ache in his joints that can only come from sleeping on the floor.

"J, what time is it?"

"2 am, sir."

He could stay right here, just hide until he knows Pepper's left for good and he can go wallow in self-pity alone. 

Or, he could drink. The best cure for a hangover is just to drink more. (He refuses to acknowledge that either way he'll still be wallowing in self-pity, it's just that now he won't be sober while he does.)

He ends up doing both (the drinking and the wallowing), grabbing the half-empty bottle of whiskey still on the counter and pouring himself a drink. And then another.

"Pep still here?"

"Ms. Potts is currently packing her things. She would like me to inform you that she'll come back for the rest as soon as possible and that she'll discuss the 'business details' with you at a later date.

Oh. "Thanks, J."

"Of course, sir."

He's tempted to laugh. The absurdity of it all. He saw it coming- everyone he loves leaves eventually (and it's his fault, he pushes them away)- and yet it feels like he's been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Their whole relationship was like planning for the day Pepper left, what he'd do when he became the catalyst for their destruction, the cause for the best thing in his life to walk right out of it.

Now that she has, Tony feels...empty. More empty than he usually does, he feels hollow. 

Alone in literally every way possible with two drinks seeping into his bloodstream and the woman he loves walking out the door and he- can't feel a thing.

He sighs and raises another drink to his mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> If you actually read this all the way to the end, know that you are greatly appreciated.


End file.
